Droppin' the Bundle

Well today is my birthday. I do not feel older, maybe a little, but all in all I feel just the same as I did say ten years ago. I think. I have to say that every once in a while I do say to myself, “Why didn’t I do this sooner in life?” Take riding in the WAM (Make-A-Wish 300 mile bike ride) for instance. I love it. I love raising the money, I love riding my bike to prepare for it and I love the event. But best of all is the friends I have met along the way. Sometimes I feel I missed out on the years everyone has rode before me.
There is so much I want to do with my life. Do I still have time? Or will I get done just some of the things. Some of my list will take winning the lottery, but other things are easy, so I have to just start doing them. I would give you the list but I would rather not. But I can tell you one thing, I want to travel more. Our trip to Yellowstone was amazing and I want to experience more with my family before things start to change.
I have a good life. I love my wife and my kids and love my job. So where ever I am, I’m pretty happy. That’s a good thing. But it is my wife that keeps all this together for me. She was the one that kept me focused in college. She would go and study on Friday night or on Saturday and say “I am going, you can come with me if you want.” Of course I went, because I wanted to be with her. All of my big goals I have been able to share with her and that is cool. Not many people start off so young together. We both had dreams of how we wanted our life to go and we talked about it with each other. What we found out is we wanted the same thing. That made it even better.
I am sure if she had it her way I would not be a firefighter. Not because she thinks it’s a bad job, but because of what the job may do to you. But I also know that she would never stop me. Why? Because I would be miserable doing anything else. And that would make me unhappy at home and then we as a couple would not be happy. She gets up with me every morning and gives me a hug and kiss and says” I love you…be careful” as I head off. That’s the best part of the day.
I used to tell her about every run I went on. Sure, when you first start the little runs are a big deal no matter how trivial they may be. But as you spend more time on the job things change. Don’t get me wrong, I try my best to give 100% on every run but there are some that I would rather forget, let alone tell her and have her thinking about what I saw. She would worry if I was handling it. I have to say the stress of the job does not stay with me. Some things just piss you off, some make you glad you took the job and that’s why I do it.
Raising 2 kids is a much bigger challenge that trying not to get mad a drunken guy who just puked on your boots then calls you the asshole. With that being said, Amy is much better at her job than I. She decided to stay home with the kids. She does an excellent job. She keeps our kids on track with their lives and because of that we have two great kids. There was a time when I truly thought I was going to be laid off and she had no problem going back to work, knowing that she would have to leave the kids. This was the hardest thing for me to do, not because I thought she would say no, but because I knew she would say yes. For me, I feel it is the man’s job as the husband to provide for his family. Now this is not a chauvinistic remark, it’s just how I feel. I truly believe Amy and anyone who stays home to raise children have the most important job there is. It hurt to know that my place in the world might change. But when Amy did this she showed how much she loved her family.
I know Amy and I are it. We have been together 20 years, we have seen it all together that it would not feel right to know that she was not part of my life. We were two kids when we met with our whole life ahead of us and soon after we started dating I knew she was it. I felt my life had started and I wanted it to finish with her every step of the way.
If I was to check out today I would be pissed. I have a lot more to do. That’s why getting old sucks, it just happens too fast. I know I am only 38 years old this year, but damn… 38! I can remember the first day on the fire department like it was yesterday and that was 14 years ago. We are having our 20 high school reunion this year. Twenty years! Where has the time gone?
There are things that just going to take time. Like walking Erin down the aisle, watching Vinnie grow up to be a young man and start the life that he deserves. But most of all growing old with Amy, traveling and laughing at the stupid stuff that it seems only we get.